


Sanity

by happyxwalsh



Series: Season 1 [6]
Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: 1x04: Let’s Get to Scooping, Angst with a Happy Ending, Connor Walsh - Freeform, Connor losing his mind, HTGAWM - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, coliver - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 20:03:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13442328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happyxwalsh/pseuds/happyxwalsh
Summary: Connor does things differently that night he goes back to Oliver.





	Sanity

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Coliver one shot, sorry if it’s not great.

Only yesterday, Connor was just a normal law student. He would only stress about exams and cases. Now, he’s stressing about the guy he just helped murder. He feels his sanity slowly slipping away. His chest tightens at the thought of this night actually being real and not the world’s worst nightmare. 

Everything feels like it’s shattering around him. Yet, the only he can think about is Oliver. He has a way of making Connor feel calm and that’s the last thing Connor is right now. So, he finds himself outside of apartment 303. Pacing up and down, trying to not have a panic attack. With a shaky breath, he pounds on the door. 

Oliver hopes that the inconsiderate person at his door is just in his head, that someone isn’t disturbing him at 6am. Looking through the peephole, he sees none other than Connor Walsh. Except he seems less put together, than the last time Oliver saw him, he’s more scruffy and he has a scared look on his face. Grudgingly, Oliver swings the door open. 

“What are you doing here?” The older man asks, in a cold tone. Connor doesn’t say anything, he just goes up to the tired man and wraps his arms around him. Oliver is taken back by the sudden embrace, Connor has never hugged him before. After all, he prefers sex to cuddling. Before he can hug him back, Oliver feels something drip on his neck. He grabs the younger man by the shoulders and escapes his embrace. 

He looks at Connor’s face and realises that he’s crying. “Are you- are you crying?” The younger man looks down at the ground, ashamed, and wipes away the tears. “What’s wrong, Connor?”

”Do you r-remember me talking about someone called Wes?” Connor weakly whispers into thin air, Oliver nods in acknowledgement and grabs the law student’s hand. “He killed someone,” tears stream down his face, as Oliver stands in shock, “and I was there. I saw him k-kill someone.”

_‘He was alive until until you shoved him over the railing’_

_’Stop acting like a little bitch baby’_

_’Oh, what fun to kill someone and end up in jail’_

_’Smile or go to jail’_

_’We’re so screwed’_

_’I think I just detached the tibia, or is that a fibula?’_

_’Let’s get to scooping’_

Every single word is screaming at him, making it impossible to focus on anything. Images of Sam lying in a pool of his own blood, his body being burnt, and Connor hacking off his limbs with shovel. He runs his fingers through his hair, attempting to calm himself down. Connor tries to breathe, but ends up hyperventilating. 

Oliver realises that his ex boyfriend is about to have a panic attack out in his hallway. The law student’s legs start to give out and he starts to collapse to the floor. Before he does, Oliver wraps his arm around Connor and moves him inside to his couch. 

Still breathing heavily, the younger man buries his head in the older man’s lap. Connor squeezes Oliver’s knee and grips onto his shirt, hoping that he’s still there and not going anywhere. Deep down, he knows he shouldn’t be there. That he should leave, but he can’t. He missed Oliver so much and he already knows about why Connor ended up there at 6am, no turning back now. 

“I know you’re traumatised and scared, but it’s okay. You’ve got me,” Oliver runs his fingers through the broken man’s hair, getting his breathing back to normal.

“What if I go to jail, Ollie?” He looks up at Oliver with nothing but emptiness in his eyes. 

“You won’t, I won’t allow that to happen. Besides, you didn’t kill him,” Connor felt his heart sink.

”I may not have killed him, but that doesn’t mean I’m innocent. Out of everyone, I had the shovel and I hacked off his limbs,” Connor would think that he’d scare Oliver off after that, but the older man didn’t even flinch. 

“Everyone?”

”Laurel, Michaela, and Rebecca were there too,” the broken man feels himself drifting off, “I’m tired.”

”Come on, I have so clothes you can borrow and then we can go to sleep,” Connor just nods, sluggishly walking over to the bedroom. 

Oliver always wanted Connor to open up to him, to just show some human emotions. Now that he saw this side of him, it hurt him. As much as he didn’t want to get involved in the hurricane that is Connor Walsh, he couldn’t help but call in sick and stay with him. 

Connor held on to these few more moments of sanity because in a couple of hours, instead of being in Oliver’s warm embrace, he’ll be back in his hellish nightmare. 


End file.
